Wines of the SEC

Yes, it's been a LONG time since my last post...and I've got drafts stacked up like planes on the runway at ATL. This is one of my favorites. One that I hope will become an annual tradition. I originally penned this way back in August, but actually like that I waited until now. Just as with preseason polls, you really can't capture the flavor of a team until at least midway through the season...or better yet, once the season is over.

While I'm not a sportswriter, I am an alum of an SEC institution and an avid college sports fan, so I feel at least somewhat qualified in writing this. If nothing else, I've at least seen all of these teams play several times this season. So, without further ado, I bring you the Wines of the SEC (in alphabetical order - I would never lead off with Bama otherwise):

Alabama = Champagne. Like 'em or hate 'em, there's no denying they are the undisputed champs and they know it. Yes, there have been some "off" years. but the Tide and Champagne's producers remain pretty darn consistent when it comes to turning out a unique, quality product.

Arkansas = White Zin. No matter how much you try to class it up, neither will ever really be respectable. Also, the majority of their fans never actually attended a university.

Auburn = Argentine Malbec. Capable of being really good...and really bad.

Florida = Australian Shiraz. Used to be a big deal, then became ubiquitous and uninspiring. Now making a comeback. I've heard fans of Aussie Shiraz wear jorts.

Georgia = Oregon Pinot Noir. Not quite Burgundy, but consistently good and getting better and better.

Kentucky = New Zealand Cabernet Sauvignon. Both known for doing something else much better.

LSU = California Zinfandel. Spicy, casual, and ready to party. Can underachieve but has the ability to be elite. Zin also pairs especially well with South Louisiana cuisine.

Mississippi State = N/A. No one in Starkville drinks wine.

Missouri = any type of wine made in Missouri. They make wine in Missouri? Exactly.

Ole Miss = Bourdeaux. Inflated self-image. Snooty, pretentious and proud of it. There may be a bit of blue collar work ethic creeping in, though, and it seems to be paying off.

South Carolina = Cotes du Rhone. Can be good. Hardly ever great. Loyal following. I wish there was an Ol' Ball Coach of wine.

Tennessee = German Riesling. Proud history; slightly obscure and trying to become relevant again in the mainstream.

Texas A&M = California Rhone-style wines. Relative new kids on the block. Different (see: female winemakers and all-male cheerleaders), but coming on strong with some rising stars.

Vanderbilt = Merlot. Perennial punchline, but coming around.